HOLDR SUCKS!
For The Way Things Used To Be, Call!Operators Are Standing By To Disappoint You.
Will Answer
Music
It Costs You Nothing
It Costs Them Everything
Gatekeepers Association U.K. Leeds LS7 2AQ. Service Continually Recorded for quality assurance and our own personal entertainment. By calling this number you agree that holding on the line is a crime against humanity and you hereby forfeit your soul to the void, see Terms and Conditions clause 5. Must be 18 years or older or have the permission of the person paying the phone bill, which is probably your mom. Entertainment purposes only. Results not guaranteed. If dial tone persists for more than 4 hours, consult a physician. We are not responsible for any emotional damage caused by the realization of how much time you've wasted listening to elevator music. Do not taunt the Happy Time. Miss Cleo is not real. The red phone is a lie. Why are you still reading this? HANG UP NOW. For the way things used to be, literally do anything else.
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Are you an executive whose phone stopped ringing? You are not alone.
IT DOES NOT RING
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The hits used to be predictable. Now artists just make whatever they want. $4.99/min.
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